I feel like TheraFlu...good to be back (damn Android ain't givin' me no act-right, not exactly blogger-friendly). But anyway...
Part 2 - Start!
Shouts to Jacksfilms before I begin; I'd just like to thank him by way of blog (since I can't do it in person) for his tireless efforts to help clean up the filthy grammar on the interwebs.
Visit this guy's channel...yesterday.
Now, I was just about to have a tirade over the horrible use of spelling, grammar, and punctuation that has invaded YouTube.
Here are more misspellings that make me want to turn into Gallagher, grab a sledgehammer, and use my computer monitor as a makeshift watermelon.
"Alot" - First of all, unless the space bar on your keyboard is permanently busted, THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY THAT THIS WORD EXISTS!!! In order to get a better understanding of this monstrosity of a word, then look up Allie Brosh and her "Hyperbole and a Half" blog. Here, she goes into detail about the "alot" monster and why they've made YouTube their breeding ground. Sadly, the alot monster has a distant cousin, the aswell beast. And much like alot, the "aswell" has made YouTube her nest. She lays her eggs of bad grammar on most mind-numbing videos, so be on the lookout.
"af" - This one pisses me off more than riding Line 210 down Crenshaw, seeing as though they're on the same level of ratchetness. Now "af" is supposed to be this abbreviation for "as fuck," used after an adjective. Now when I was coming up, it was never abbreviated to begin with. Plus, if you even thought about writing "af" after an adjective in a high school English class (or even its full, more vulgar counterpart), you were looked at as the "the kid who got/would get left back." Rant in 3...2...1... (beware of F-bombs)
STOP FUCKING TYPING "AF," PEOPLE!!! YOU'RE A FUCKING DUMBASS IF YOU THINK "AF" IS FUCKING COOL TO USE AFTER A FUCKING ADJECTIVE!!! IT'S NOT FUCKING COOL!!! IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING DUNCE WHO CAN'T EVEN FUCKING PASS REMEDIAL FUCKING ENGLISH, YOU FUCKING RATCHET!!!
Rant over
Also, stop putting your apostrophes in unnecessary places. If you put an apostrophe in a plural noun, make sure the damn noun ain't plural (sorry, my dialect slipped out the keyboard) and put another bleeping noun after it. That way, people can understand what the hell you're talking about.
Ex. #1: Look at you guys. (Cue "The Price Is Right" clang & whoops)
Ex. #2: Look at you guy's. (Cue the Fail horns)
Take a good look at Ex. #2. How many times must one flunk English before he gets that Ex. #1 is correct?
If you place an apostrophe in between whatever letter and an "s," you must always remember that it is a possessive form of a noun, or a contraction. An example would be, "I saw you steal that guy's cell phone before you ran off the train." Also...
Never, and I mean NEVER, put an apostrophe in a verb that ends with an "S." That would lead me to think that you took English lessons from an episode of Jerry Springer.
Ex.: "Girl get's jumpd look's ugly af" <----- Please no. Once again, I'd like to emphasize (rather calmly) that you should NEVER type "af" after an adjective.
Public Service Announcement: Dropping verbs is not cool when typing a sentence. That is all. For instance, don't ever do this: "I don't know what to with my hair!" I think you forgot to have some "do" for breakfast on the way out, because you left it on the table of grammar.
Another thing that's been on my chest, something I could never figure out, is why some girls think it's cute to spell something which requires the letter "g" with a fucking "q"!!! Somebody help me out with this one. For instance, if you're going to say something like "What are you talking about," don't type it like this: "Wat r u talkinq abt?" Best believe you're bound to fail English talking in ratchet-speak.
I'd also like to emphasize that "lose" and "loose" are two different words with two different meanings (and that one word has an extra "o" in the center). Let me explain...
Loose means not tight or not having any elasticity. Case in point...
"Loose lips sink ships."
Lose means to not gain or not win. Use of this word: "You lose."
If I catch you using "loose" in place of "lose" or calling somebody a "looser" on either my videos or some other user's (see what I did with this apostrophe?), chances are I will mark your comment as spam or just completely block you until you learn how to type properly.
As you are typing a comment on YouTube, you should also know that You Must Never Capitalize The First Letter Of Every Word In Each Sentence Because Once Again, You Look Like A Ratchet. Got it?
And lastly, what the fuck is "noone?!" Once again, if your space bar is broken, go out and buy a new keyboard. Sounds like somebody's last name to me. It is spelled "no one," people!
And that's all she wrote.
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